Answers to questions that have no answers…

Today the Timehop app brought this note I had written on Facebook to my attention.  I have no memory of writing it.  It was during a dark time when we had lost my mother in law suddenly to a cardiac event.  I add this to the things that I don’t want to forget.  Time moves on and you forget these amazing moments.  This was one amazing moment in a time when we thought all was sadness…

On Tuesday, November 4, 2008 around 10 am I got a call from my father in law… he told me that my mother in law had a heart attack and he needed to get in touch with his sons and wasn’t able to do so. He sounded panicked and I asked was she ok? He said, “It doesn’t look good.” I took over in a frenzy trying to get hold of my husband and my brother in law. At that time I was a bit confused as to the severity of the situation. Less than two weeks later my mother in law had passed away. Two weeks and a day later we had her funeral and said our final good byes.

On Election Day 2008 I had no idea what questions would arise in the two weeks to follow. I never knew how much I would learn from my almost 9, 7, and 4 year olds. I think as we go through trials in life as an adult, it is probably wise to bring a child along with us… they see things through such different eyes. They aren’t jaded, they don’t complicate things. They tell it like it is. They ask the right questions. They give the right hugs and tell you that they love you at just the right times.

So if you don’t have a child walking along with you and you are going through troubles now, I want to share some of the things that I was blessed with by having three of my own walking with me. I won’t finish in this note, because my husband thinks that I am just gabbing on the web and will tire of my time on here, but since my status the other day got a few questions as to how I responded… well, I thought I would start there…

“Angela is learning a lot from her 7 yo lately… ‘Mommy, can we ask God when we get to Heaven if it is ok to be sad because people we love aren’t there?” *sigh*.'”

That was my status. It came as a result of the following conversation with my child:

7 year old: “Mommy, I know the difference between a wedding and a funeral.”

Mommy: “Ok, what?”
7 year old: “Weddings are happy. Funerals are sad.”

Jaded Mommy thinks… “yeah, some weddings are happy… bet some people would disagree…” but jaded mommy held her tongue.

Mommy: “Yes, they are. Do funerals have to be sad?”
7 year old: “No. Not if the person went to Heaven.”

silence silence silence

7 year old: “In Heaven there isn’t any crying or being sad. But we miss the people that go to Heaven.”

silence… silence… mommy sniff… blow nose…. silence… silence…

7 year old: “Mommy, can we ask God when we get to Heaven if we can be sad because some of the people we love aren’t there?”

silence… silence… mommy sniff… blow nose…. silence… silence… cough… shake head…. finally come up with something to say…

Mommy: “Yes, if you remember that you can be sad when you get to Heaven and you feel sad you can ask God that question. God made us and God made us able to be sad, so I think he would understand if you were sad because people you love aren’t there with you. ”

mommy sniff… blow nose…. mommy sob….

So, I guess I did ok. This was only one thing that was said over the course of the two weeks that absolutely floored me. I am sure it won’t be the last thing over the rest of their lives that they will say that absolutely floors me. It warmed my heart… Comfort truly does come from the mouths of babes.



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