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I am not perfect.

I am not perfect to the world.

I am not perfect to the church.

I am certainly not perfect when seen in all my glory by God.

By worldly means, I am not perfect. My husband has recently become fond of saying, “People are gonna do what people are gonna do.” No truer words have ever been spoken. I do not have perfect children. I do not have a perfect house. I do not have a perfect marriage. I do not make perfect decisions by the world’s standards. I can get past that, ’cause people are gonna think what people are gonna think. They are gonna do what they are gonna do.

I am not a perfect Christian. Actually, as many times as I have been told that we are to “be like Jesus,” I don’t think I even really try to be the perfect Christian. I do not worship corporately as often as I should. I drink an adult beverage now and then. I let a curse word slip from my tongue often on occassion. I don’t make perfect Christian decisions by the church’s standards. That I would be judged by fellow Christians for man-made standards I do not meet is hurtful, but I can get past that, ’cause people are gonna do what people are gonna do.

I certainly am not perfect to God when he looks directly at me. I do not listen to Him as diligently as I should. I ignore His pleas to do His work. I do the things that I should not do. (Who said that? Paul?) As straight as I may stand and as big a smile as I can put on my face, still when God looks at me I am and all that I do are “as filthy rags.” So God’s gonna do what God’s gonna do?

Lucky for me, this all changed in 1993. I say sometimes “I have always been a Christian,” but that isn’t completely true. I mean, I have always believed that Jesus was God’s son, born of a virgin, crucified, was buried and rose again on the third day, etc., etc. Well, I do remember one time asking my mom what if that wasnt actually true and she said that to be a Christian that is what I have to believe and that pretty much put an end to that question. All my family were “Christians” so I guess that was what I was supposed to believe too… ok, done, I am a Christian. “I have always been a Christian.”

However, in 1993, on the way home from a “Success” seminar in Raleigh, NC driving my new little red Nissan 240 SX (man, I miss that car!) my whole world changed. I probably had asked Jesus to live in my heart when I was little… maybe as an adolescent… maybe as a college student, but when I did it then in that little read car on US 1, I did not ask him to just live in my heart. I asked him to put his arms around my whole body and when He did that He made it so that what God sees is no longer “filthy rags” but the glory of His son wrapping me up and making me perfect because I believed and asked Him to do that for me.

I make mistakes. Lots of them. I will continue to make mistakes. But Jesus has never let go and never will. While I was sleeping spiritually, he was sitting next to me waiting for me to wake up. Nudging me every once in a while to see if I would…. I KNOW those times… I can remember the times that I was so close to waking, but didn’t. And now, as I slowly come to consciousness, his arms have wrapped back around me tightly and he is so excited to have me walk with him again! I am so excited to walk with him again! AND I am so glad that “God’s gonna do what God’s gonna do!

Edited to add this video…. (Listen to it… I have no idea what the pictures are of.)